For Ashley Petersen

Thank you for being patient.
Thank you for showing me kindness
That surpasses what i've done
And tells me to be kind.

Thank you for your words
Not said without meaning
But with purpose, to teach me
What i never thought of before.

My immaturity, lack of experience.
You took up the challenge
To stand up and pull me with you
And find out how things should be done.

Thank you for being humble
Maybe you thought you weren't
But really you were and i
Saw how maturity is a lesson, not a state of mind.

Dead.

Of course i'm dead.
Of course you're dead.
i didn't kill you,
But i think i could have helped.

Yet here you are,
Lying in my arms
And i don't care if i cry
You are here with me.

There is nothing better
Than you in my arms
Though i helped to end
Your life, you are here.

i ripped, you ripped
We both shredded apart
In the cold, cold night
Waiting for the tearing to stop.

The tearing brought blood
Some color to bring satisfaction
To our unfeeling bodies,
Unfeeling wounds in our feeling hearts.

Of course i'm dead.
You ignored the cost
Of the pain, you enjoyed
Every last minute.

In the cold, this is us
i'm not ashamed
Are you ashamed?
This is peace at last.

Not So Legit

Most of the stuff i put down here is raw thought, the raw motion that moves inside my mind, without backtracking, erasing, or adding. The thought process isn't so clear, but maybe you can find something in all this jumble of words.

Freak it How, Freak it Now

This is a jam
Perfect for your hips
I ain't playing monkey,
I just like the glips
The free wire, ornery
New wire music
Know you can't win it or lose it
This is the freak, this is how
You feel it out and go find your style

The ear drums do the beat
While the vocal chords
Do the singing
Go on, let the pulse do the ringin'.

Free the mind, jump right into it
Bust out the rhymes
Like a new kind of music
Kid of the century, kid of the east
Who you dancing to,
Like some kind of beast
Oh i'm a beast on the floor
Moving the feet, ain't no shuffling
This is the heat
Get on down, move it with your feet
To the left, to the right,
This jam's breaking concrete!

The ear drums do the beat
While the vocal chords
Do the singing
Go on, let the pulse do the ringin'.

Leper

The sweet days
Of our emotions, sweet emotion.
Your eyes in mine,
My eyes in yours
Senseless touch, senseless feeling
Nerve endings.

The wires of our nerves
Both connected perfectly, and i
Would not be separated from you.
i only wanted you.

Pushing for you to
Reach me,
Your reach was far,
But not far enough.
I asked for too much, too soon.
Your love was a treasure i
Wanted to hoard,
But i tried to take
And not replace.
The thief was soon found out
And arrested for her crime.

Senseless desire, senseless need
A crashing, abrupt halt
To the galloping steed.
Senseless, unfeeling love
Will be given its wage
And will no longer
Perform on the stage.

The mask was too heavy to wear
On such a pretty face
That had no care.
No care, therefore, no love
For that pretty face.
Thief, understudy,
Her time is come.

Senseless touch, senseless feeling,
You will be known and understood
And not given another chance
To light the pile of branches on fire
And give such strong desire;
Such strong flame,
But ending in ash.

The Playground

i get on the swing.
i'll swing a couple swings.
But just not enough.
i'll swing several swings.
Higher and higher.
No, still not enough.
The swings are larger, taller
And my feet tickle
Clouds gently
Rolling by.
i'll keep swinging until my long legs
Get tired and tired and tired from pumping.
i will rest, then start all over again.

The slide is slippery, i want to slide down it.
If you don't put your arms in the air
It's not as big of a thrill.
The weightless feeling
Of going up and over a lump
Then down a slope
Will surely make you feel like
Some modern superman.
So of course, just one more time.

Monkey bars are last. The ingenuity and skill
Required to master them takes the patience
Of a ninja. The sweat building up on my palms
Is making it hard for me to grip the bars,
I think i have gotten a couple of blisters.
On to the end! The ladder awaits me.
But before i resign to the ladder, i have to try
And go on top of the bars, on top of the world,
Lift my arms up and say, "Hey mom! Up here!"
No fears, no worry.
i have reached the ladder, and i climb down.

Couldn't Find No Cream Cheese

i needed some creamy cream
Cheese for my wrap
To have myself
A yummy little snack.

But when i yanked open the fridgie door,
The sight before me was a scene of horror
Every corner and every nook
Was void of the substance that i sook.
Cream cheese! Oh, the bee's knees!
How i need you, can't resist you!
And here, in my be-tiled kitchen,
Alas. You are hidden.

Did my brother steal you to dress his bagel?
Why did that floury bread need your thread?
Did my mother take you to make some frosting?
The ooey, gooey, ooey ooziness so delighting.
Or is it?

Did she really need you for the heart-attacking spread?
Oh, cream cheese, i wish i were dead.
Without you, i have no wrap. i have no lunch
To soothe my soul, and wring out the wrinkles
In my skin. Oh, cream cheese.